NiCe Mr DoCtoR

Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital that his wife’s been in a terrible car accident. He rushes to the hospital, runs into the ER and says his wife’s been in an accident. They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the patient. They page the doctor. He comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.

“Mr. Jones?” The doctor asks.“Yes sir,” says Mr. Jones. “What’s happened? How is my wife?”

The doctor sits next to him and says, “Not good. Your wife’s accident resulted in two fractures of her spine.”

“Oh my God” says Mr. Jones. “What will become of her?”

“Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable,” said the doctor. “However, her spine is inoperable. She’ll have no motor skills or capability. This means you will have to feed her.”

Mr. Jones begins to sob.

“And you’ll have to turn her in her bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia.” Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly.

“Then, of course,” the doctor continued, “you’ll have to diaper her, as she’ll have no control over her bladder, and of course these diapers must be changed at least five times a day.”

Mr. Jones begins to shake, as he cries, sobs and wails.

The doctor continues, “And, you’ll have to clean up her feces on a regular basis, as she’ll have no control over her sphincter. Her bowel will engorge quite often, I’m afraid. Of course, you must clean her immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent she’ll be emitting regularly.”

Now Mr. Jones is convulsing, sobbing uncontrollably.

Just then, Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats Mr. Jones on the shoulder. “Hey, I’m just kidding with you. She’s dead.”